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Did you ever have "one of those days"? The times when you say one thing but mean another, trip over your own two feet, or accidentally break or spill something?

You know it happens in Rainbow all the time. We're only human. Either you've slipped up (sometimes literally!), or witnessed a girl or adult who said or did something that was worth remembering just for the hilarity of it all. Remember the mangled ritual work, the objects that have a mind of their own, the weird coincidences that just happen...? Well, here is the place to share those stories, and tales of woe. Anonymously, of course; no names or other identifying info will be used, to protect the identity of the innocent (and guilty). Nothing hateful or mean-spirited will be added, either. To submit your stories, use the form located at the bottom of this page.

Thanks to M. for the idea for this page, and her submissions!

(Note: Some items edited for privacy/clarity.)

updated on 10-09-02

"The first initiation after my own, I substituted for Nature. I was barely twelve, very nervous, and in awe of all these older girls who seemed to do everything perfect. I wanted to be just like them. When it was my time to speak, I stood up and began my lecture. When I picked up the colored satin ribbon, it started sliding off the pedestal, and I watched - in horrifying slow-motion - the entire ribbon falling onto my shoes. My face got so hot I knew I was beet red. Needless to say, I got so flustered I bungled my lecture horribly."

"We were doing an Open Meeting ritual, and I was filling in as Faith. I hadn't been feeling good all afternoon, but managed to say my part. About a minute after I'd done my little speech, I just knew I had to get to the bathroom - NOW. I just walked out of the Assembly room like I was supposed to be doing just that, and scurried around the corner into the ladies' room, where I made it just in time to toss my cookies. I just wanted to DIE of embarrassment." (Okay, I'll 'fess up! This one was me! - Misha/Rainbow.org)

"One initiation, during Charity's lecture, we had to stop everything so our Grand Deputy could rush one of the candidates out to 'go pee'. They made it in time (whew!) From then on, the Drill Leader would ask the girls if they had to go to the bathroom before she conducted them into the Assembly room."

"I will never forget this one initiation. The sister of one of our members was being initiated (as the active candidate) with one other girl, and I was filling in for a bow office. Everything was going fairly well until the end, where the Worthy Advisor and Faith do their little instructional in the East. The active candidate stepped back a bit (as if she was turning to look at Faith better) and then stumbled back one more step. I realized what was happening, just as cries from the adults on the sidelines started. "Look out!" "Catch her!" and "EEEK!" as the candidate went down like a felled tree. WHAM! She was escorted to the hastily-moved chair of the Drill Leader, handed a glass of water (which one of the parents had raced out to get), and sat there for the rest of her initiation."

"Once at an initiation, the candidate was kneeling down and fell over on top of the altar."

"When I was Hope, during the opening of the meeting, Charity told me to, "by order of the holy bible, open the Worthy Advisor on our altar." After everyone picked themselves up off the floor from laughing so hard, the meeting continued."

"I was the new Past Worthy Advisor for our Assembly, and we were practicing for our Official Visit the next day, when we realized there wasn't a gavel for the podium. Using one's knuckles to rap on the podium hurts. I had my WA briefcase with me, since I was filling in for Recorder and needed paper & pens, and it still had my gavel and sounding block in a little bag in there, so I offered to let them be used for the practice. The Grand Deputy was trying to explain something to us later on, and (of course) we girls were whispering comments to each other and not really paying attention. The Grand Deputy rapped the gavel three times. Well, two, actually. On the third whack of the gavel, one of the ends (it was a wood gavel with heart-shaped lucite ends) flew off the gavel and skidded across the floor towards the altar. It was repaired later with glue."

"Who can ever forget the Initiation where Patriotism said, '... sounds of marital strains'?"

"I was visiting another Assembly, and, during reading of the minutes, the Worthy Associate Advisor leaned back in her chair, stretching her legs out in front of her (under the podium). Suddenly her podium tipped over and went down the stairs, sending gavel, sounding block, and so on flying. Scared everyone half to death! I guess she thought it was bolted to the floor!"

"One girl in our Assembly would 'zone' while giving her memorization work, and be completely unaware of her surroundings. When she was in the line, for initiation, she held the American flag upside-down, and was unaware of everyone stifling their giggles."

"I had a new formal on, which had sleeves that were little more than a ruffle on elastic. I was walking into the Assembly room to set up my station, and stepped on the hem of my dress. The bodice went - ZOOP! - down far enough to expose my bra. Of course, since I was all but flat-chested then, it went right back up when I stepped off my hem, and (thankfully) nobody had seen."

"During a 'Fun Degree' for the Masons when I was the Worthy Associate Advisor, I started laughing so hard that I fell down the stairs."

"At a Grand Assembly a few years ago, the Supreme Inspector broke the Grand Worthy Advisor's gavel."

"Drill Leader was putting the flag back in the flag stand after the Pledge of Allegiance and bowed too close, hitting her head on the flag pole and knocking the flag to the floor. Of course, the 'flag ettiquette' reprinted in the front of our ritual says that if the flag touches the ground, it must be burned. One of the Masons on the sideline quipped, "oops, you'll have to burn it and buy us a new one!" which of course mortified the poor girl. We told her later he was only kidding."

"Once, during a 'Fun Degree', our WA was laughing so hard that she slammed her gavel, and the handle went flying past the Mason 'candidates' and landed in the West."

"I had on a new pair of shoes, when I was Worthy Associate Advisor, and boy, did they have slippery soles! I was stepping down from that station during the jewel march, onto the nice, soft, plush carpeting, and suddenly wound up pretty much doing the splits! I finished the closing march, etc. barefoot, and with a sore knee."

"A girl in our Assembly, whose mom had been in Rainbow during the late 50's/early 60's, would wear her mom's vintage formals to the meetings from time to time. She was taller than her mother had been, and probably a tad more "developed". She was Chaplain during one meeting, and sat down after Opening, then jerked forward in her chair in shock -- the zipper (located under her left arm) had split! She held the sides of the dress together as she and her mother left the meeting early. That was the last time we saw her in vintage formals!"

"For one Installation, the WA-elect had chosen Marshal and Honorary Marshal from neighboring Assemblies. They were unfamiliar with the chairs in our Assembly room (big armrests), and were wearing hoopskirts under their dresses. During the Installation, the Honorary Marshal sat down pretty far back in the chair, causing her hoop to fly up in front of her, and showing everyone that she had on jeans under her dress."

"At Grand Assembly one year, our whole Assembly got in trouble for giggling. We were sitting way up high in the arena ("nosebleed section"), and were pretty close to the Grand East, so we could see what was going on behind the backdrop. During Grand Talent, there was a girl singing ("The Greatest Love of all" or something like that), and I happened to notice our Assembly's Grandie (a very talented singer, with a zany personality) standing behind the backdrop in the East (since walking to or from your seats when someone is speaking/performing is rude). Our Grandie was lip-syncing along with the girl out front, over-dramatizing, swooning, and flinging her arms everywhere in time with the lyrics. I nudged the girls around me and pointed to our Grandie, and they pointed her out to the girls sitting next to them. Pretty soon we were all sitting there with hands over our mouths, or biting our lips, trying desperately not to bust out laughing. The song wound to a close, and our Grandie was leaning so far back, like she was trying to do the limbo, clutching her hands to her chest as if in agony. We couldn't stand it anymore and lost it, two seconds before the applause began. The Supreme Deputy whipped her head our way and we froze, any thoughts of amusement gone."

"In California, the GWA has a bible that is used at every Official Visit, and is signed by the current WAs of that district just before Presentations. One year, our Assembly's WA was writing her name in the bible, and we all heard a 'RRRRIP!' She had accidentally torn the page (pretty bad, I think)."

"Picture this...5'10 tall, 12 year old candidate and 4'8 tall, 17 year old WAA...now picture the part where the WAA puts her hands on the candidate's shoulders. The WAA was on her tippy toes and the candidate was stooping down."

"In the tradition of broken gavels -- our WA broke her own gavel, and official visit was coming up. During Official Visits in Colorado, the WA uses the GWA's gavel. We jokingly told her not to break the GWA's gavel... In the middle of escort, there went the head of the GWA's gavel bouncing down the stairs in the East, rolling to rest in the middle of the floor. The GWA's response... 'There is something you don't see every day.'"

"Hope: Instead of 'I will never die'... 'I won't go away'."

"Faith: 'I fell on my face and heard voices.'"

"When I was Love, my dress was just a tad bit too tight. When I stood up, the zipper split from neck to bottom. Our Rainbow dad, being the gentleman he was, ran over with his suit jacket and put it about my shoulders while I tried to deliver my lecture. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. So I did both."

"At a recent initiation, Love's sister was being initated. After her lecture, the sister didn't take the ribbon and Faith wasn't paying attention, so Love said... 'HERE, TAKE IT!'"

"We all have the hoop in the face or the hoop drawstring coming undone and losing the hoop during a march story. Anyone ever have their pantaloons end up around the knees or ankles?"

"Thanks to one Faith not paying attention, our Assembly's bible has lipstick on the pages."

"When I was WA, we had an altar cloth that the ribbons hooked to. Our first initiation, Faith went the wrong way (after the ribbons were all attached) and instead of the ribbons just falling off of the pedestals, the altar cloth came off and the bible landed on the floor."

"Speaking of ribbons... I was substituting in the bow for another Assembly during Initiation, and after Service's lecture, Faith turned the wrong way and plowed into the ribbons. They were attached to a little hook on the altar, as well as secured to a knob on top of the pedestals, so the pedestals all went down, like bowling pins!"

"Few things are funnier than seeing Faith and the candidate turn the wrong way in the bow and winding up trapped between ribbons..."

"The Installation I will never forget is where the Installing Officer mentioned 'the anals of human history' while installing Chaplain."

"When escorting the flags into the Assembly room during an Installation, the Honorary Marshal was not paying attention, and speared the doorway with the finial on the Christian flag, causing her to come to an abrupt stop, with plaster and dust sprinkling down on her and the flag. She left quite a hole there, too."

"When being presented with the jewel of their office during Installation, I have seen girls get the beaded necklace (or snap) snagged in their hair (ow!), have their glasses accidentally pulled off (yikes!), have the cold metal emblem slip down the front of their dress (brr!), or have them somehow fall apart (oops!)."

"During an Installation, I was one of two Marshals. The other girl had her hair pulled back from her face, so I decided to pull mine back as well, so we would match (we were wearing identical dresses). I didn't have a barrette, only a hair elastic. That was a big mistake. Every time I bowed, my little ponytail would flip over my head, and I'd have to jerk my chin up to get it to go back. I was teased about being 'I Dream of Jeanie' for weeks."

"At the end of an initiation, the two new members were introduced to our Assembly, and we welcomed them. When they responded, we knew which one hadn't been paying attention -- her elbow jabbed into the girl on her left."

"Quite often, Hope's closing lecture went something like this -- '...stace the faction [fay-shun] of the Worthy Advisor...'."

"We had a candidate one time at Initiation who was trying to be very grown up and wore her mother's heels -- she couldn't walk very well in them. Finally our Mother Advisor took pity on her and told her to take them off. She finished barefoot!!"

"I was protemming Nature for another Assembly's Initiation, and was unfamiliar with their station paraphernalia. When Fidelity's lecture had been completed, the girls on either side of me leaned over and whispered 'Pull up the slack on your ribbon; it's too low.' I looked at how the ribbon was connected at both ends (paperclip at one end, little hanger on a knob at the other) and decided the best way to fix it without drawing any attention would be to gently ease my pedestal towards me about an inch. Carefully, I pulled the base towards me with feet. WHUMP! The hanger popped off the knob, and all the ribbons fluttered to the ground."

"We had a large class for Initiation. One of the girls (the active candidate) had on a lovely 'mermaid-style' dress, with lots of netting underneath the bottom ruffle, to make it pouf out. It was the perfect length -- not too long, not too short, but it seemed to attract feet. Two of the other Initiates, plus the Drill Leader, and I think even Faith EACH stepped on the hem of her dress at least once while walking around and everything, causing a little 'rrrip!' noise each time. By the time Initiation was over, there were several small pieces of netting around the Assembly room floor, and a five-inch long chunk of netting sticking out from under the back of her dress."

"I had finally made it to Worthy Advisor and I was more than a tad bit nervous when it came time for me to kneel at the altar. I went to kneel on the the little kneeling pad at the altar and wham! The kneeling pad, altar and I hit the floor. I was showing the underside of my pretty new dress and laughing to hard to get up and fix myself. My marshal wasn't doing much better. We both just laughed there at the altar while everyone snapped pictures. As I tried to get up I pulled down all the jewels for the other officers and got a huge run in my hose. After we all laughed until we cried I managed to get up and put the altar back together. The rest of the night went relatively smoothly. I was horrible embarased but on the bright side I gained the reputation of being the most fun Worthy Advisor our assembly has ever had before I even took office!"

"When I was younger and still unsure of myself, I would get nervous when giving my memorization work, so much so that my face would heat up (and probably turn red, too). The worst part of it was, I wore glasses, and... I kid you not... they would actually fog up in spots because I'd get so nervous!"

"Being associated with the Masonic orders for my whole life, I have seen near everything. The most memorable (mortifying for this young lady) was when our Faith was doing the walking lectures during intiation, as she squared the NorthEast corner, her crinoline came out from underneath her formal, while she kept on walking."

"I went to an Installation of Officers at a neighboring Assembly tonight. The Worthy Advisor was doing a fair job, but during the part for Hope, she said 'I do set my blow in the clouds'. I was not the only one trying desperately not to burst into a fit of giggles."

"I went to a Grand Family out of state. The JPGWA came in late with her cousin, a Grand Rep. They had to go behind the bow and do all that. Well, the PGWA did the sign backwards! Then, they got to their seats. Well, the WA of the hostess assembly decided to introduce them right then and there. The Grand Rep couldn't remember what states she was representing! By the end of the afternoon, both of their faces were red."

"I was at another Assembly's initiation, as a WA. I managed to be late, and had to go behind the bow, etc. Since I was late, I didn't get to sign the introduction sheet, but we got another slip of paper to the east. When I got introduced, I was introduced as a PWA. It was really funny because people I knew kept saying: I thought you were the WA. And I said that I thought I was too, I must have got demoted. The whole thing was a riot."

"I went to my sister assembly's first meeting of the year, and the GWA was coming to visit. This was very amazing, as they were so far away from everyone else, and we don't have OVs, so they barely ever get GWAs coming to visit. Anyway, during introduction, after the WA asked DL to conduct her to the East, she forget to say the GWA's name. She just said: "You will join with me in giving..." The GWA turned around and told her that she might want to say her name. The poor WA was so embarrassed. Her face went beet red!"

"I had just joined Rainbow a couple of months ago, and was visiting a local assembly with one of our older girls. Our Grand Deputy was there, and was getting frustrated with my companion for telling everyone what to do. She made some comment like, "Would you like to be Grand Deputy someday?" and the girl answered no. When our Grand Deputy asked why, I immediately jumped in there and said (and this is an exact quote), "because no one likes the Grand Deputy." At this point, everyone was like, "[my name]!" I, on the other hand, didn't understand what was wrong and said, "What? It's true. No one DOES like the Grand Deputy." Needless to say, when I realized what was wrong with my statement, I was mortified. I apologized to our Grand Deputy the next time I saw her, explaining that we all like her as a person, just no one likes the person who tells them the right way to do things. In other words, we don't like the Grand Deputy, but we do like Mrs. ______. It's been a couple of years now, and I constantly wonder if she remembers me as 'the girl who told me that everyone hates me'."

"Our poor Sister of Faith was new to Rainbow, and really had no idea what she was doing. She had messed up quite a few times before, and when she got to Immortality's station. She said 'Sister of Immaturity!'"

"I was at a sister assembly and doing Religion's part, well I got through the first paragraph fine and then I see everyone looking at me weird as I am doing the rest of the part. I couldn't figure out what was going on, but all of a sudden I realized that I shouldn't be done with the part so soon. I was so lost and the MA didn't know where I was either. She started me back up again and everything was fine. I still didn't realize what I had done wrong until I heard Immortality's part. I had ended up saying the end of Immortality's part for Religion. I still get picked on it to this day."

"I was on the sidelines at Grand Representatives' Night. A friend of mine was filling in for Immortality. During her lecture, the Reps on the sidelines were very chatty, which was distracting. When she got to the part "It was the Master of life who said" she stopped, look at the Reps and said "Will you please shut up!" So from now on, whenever I hear Immortality's lecture that's what I think of. And you know, no one said a thing to her about that."

"Once during initiation, Hope instructed Faith to conduct the candidate to the Sister of Charity to learn about the 'hidden continents...'"

"During another initiation when the candidate was standing with Faith and the assembly sings "Nearer My God to Thee", the candidate turned around and applauded, and said 'That's great!'"

"Each year our Supreme Inspector picks one girl as Grand Charity. The girl then advances to become GWA. The Supreme Inspector makes her choice of Grand Officers by reviewing applications submitted by all PWAs. The applications are pretty detailed and require a parent's signature. I had forgotten to fill out my application, and I had to give it to my MA by the end of our meeting. I never thought in a million zillion years that she would pick me as Grand Charity, so I signed my mom's name. You can't imagine the shock both my mom and I had when I got Grand Charity. When my mother advisor called and told her the news, my mom said "What are you talking about? I didn't sign any form!" BUSTED BIG TIME!!!!! However, my mom was wonderful and supported me tremedously (after everything sunk in). I learned this lesson the hard way from all three of my moms!"

"This happened at Grand Assembly a few years ago, but every year during introductions we all think of it. Our Grand Drill Leader was doing her normal great job at introductions, until she said "I have the pleasure to present the bodies of other heads". It took us a while to recover from that one. That same night she presented Knights Templar behind the bow and they all pulled out their swords at the same time. After she screamed (and we laughed) she went on to take them to the East. She will never forget her year as Grand Drill Leader."

"My daughter was new to Rainbow and working very hard on her ritual. Every time we would go over her part she would say "Human" instead of "Living" sacrifice. I just knew when it would come to initiation she would say human. Well, the night came and she said it the right way. The problem came when she stopped what she was doing, sighed and said "Yes, I did it right." Then she finished the lecture and everything was fine."

"My blooper was when I was initiated into my assembly. When I went to put Service's ribbon on, I knocked the whole ribbon set over."

"It was the very first time I was serving as Worthy Advisor during an Initiation and I was extremely nervous. I did my part reasonably well until it came time for me to give the work which any prior knowlege of had just slipped out of my mind. Our Mother Advisor at the time was ill and no one had a copy of the work to prompt me with, so the acting MA, a Board member with no previous Rainbow experience, and the Chaplain all tried to prompt me, but gave me different sentences. I got so confused I made myself sick and had to sit out the rest of the Initiation while the Chaplain filled in."

"This was my first year in the Michigan Grand Family, I was so excited - I'm a Grand Representative. Well, the GWA and I have a really close friendship, and she would always joke about messing up my states (Missouri, Montana, and New Hampshire). We were at the Frist Grand Reception at the GWA's home Assembly, and she had to introduce all her Grand Officers and Grand Representatives. She got to me, paused for a minute and then TOTALLY messed up my states! That night I became Maryland! It was so embarassing!"

"For my first initiation as Faith, my candidate was a very short girl. I was trying SO hard to do everything exactly as I should and was feeling pretty confident by the time we got to the WA's lecture at the altar. I had the candidate kneel, and the WA gave her lecture. The WA completed her lecture, offered her hand and said 'Arise, my sister!' I was beaming in pride for the new candidate as she rose to her feet, a new Rainbow Girl. The WA, however, didn't realize that the candidate was on her feet, and repeated her statement, 'Arise, my sister!'

"Well, all of us knew she was on her feet, but didn't know what to say to the WA, and were kind of snickering. The WA said again, 'ARISE, MY SISTER!!' The candidate finally spoke up in the weakest voice and said, 'I HAVE arisen!' It took a long time to get over THAT one!"

"Several years ago, my Assembly was doing an initiation. It was during the bow lectures that it was realized that something was missing (I don't remember what it was, but that's not important I guess). Anyway, my Mom got sent out to the Rainbow Closet to get whatever it was, and in the preparation room -- which is where the door to our closet is located -- there were a bunch of metal chairs stacked against the wall. All of a sudden, right in the middle of a lecture, we heard a big crash, and we knew what had happened... all of the chairs fell down! All of us, including the candidate, died laughing. My mother was so embarrassed. We couldn't keep a straight face the rest of the initiation!"

"I was the Installing Officer for our Assembly and we installed a Drill Leader. I got to the part 'You should be an example of graceful leadership' and could not stop laughing. The new Drill Leader was on crutches with a broken leg because she fell off her roof. Not only was I laughing -- the whole assembly was laughing. I was able to gain my composure and finish installing her."

"One time when our Assembly was helping another Assembly with initiation, we were doing bow stations. My friend was doing Fidelity, and when she told the candidate to take the ribbon, it was too short and the podium fell over. Ever since then we have checked to make sure that the ribbons were the right length."

"I was doing Drill Leader for introductions at an Honor Night. As I was introducing the Supreme Deputy I got up and said, 'It is my honor to present to you Mrs. Ellen Gigerich Supreme...' (and she had to tell me to say) 'Deputy.' I have never been so embarrassed in my life!"

"I was at an Honor Night receiving my appointment as Grand Personal Page to the Supreme Deputy. The Grand Worthy Advisor told me and I was supposed to respond by saying, 'Yes and Thank You'. But instead I said 'YES!' very loudly. The whole room laughed, then I was excorted to the East. It was a very embarassing moment, but a happy one."

"At initiation, a nervous Hope mixed up her words saying 'I will sleep with your mother while you are away at night'."

"I was Installing Marshal for a local Assembly's Installation, and when it came time to present the flag behind the altar I was like "ok, this is going pretty good!" Then I got to the altar and sorta shifted my hands so the flag would be a little higher. Well, come to find out it was already high enough because the end of the flagpole was right there... the flag started to topple over and it was almost a disaster!! Luckily I have quick reflexes and I managed to catch it before anything horrible happened, but everyone had a nice laugh at my expense..."

"My Assembly didn't have a Worthy Advisor for a while, and my friend from another Assembly was filling in. Well, during an Initiation she told the candidate to hold the "HAM of Faith"! Everyone got a nice chuckle out of that - some girls still call her "hammy"!"

"When I was W.A. I pulled the drawer out of the ballot box to dump the balls back in to the box - instead they all came out flying, all over the east, down the 3 steps and all the way to the altar. There I was in my hoop gown, picking up marbles. When I was Worthy Matron I lived in fear history would repeat itself."

"When my daughter was intitiated she managed to kiss the wrong bible. 4 years later, she still hears about it every time we have Initiation practice. Our Faiths now know to tell the candidate which one to kiss."

"We had balloting at a regular meeting. A girl from an Assembly pretty far away was visiting us for the very first time. She was going to fill in for us as Faith. We had five girls from our own assembly balloting. When the ballot box got up to the East, I opened it. There were only 3 white balls there! (There were no black cubes either.) Well, I showed my MA and we couldn't figure out was wrong. The poor Faith was very confused. We took the drawer all the way out and shook it, 2 more white balls came out, and rolled down the stairs to the floor. We had to do it all over again. Sister of Faith has been back to visit 2 times since then, and each time she has, she asks us to make sure we don't have any balloting to do!"

"Our Grand Worthy Advisor-elect for the year 2000 was from my Assembly, and she and one of the other girls were "stealing" a penguin statue from our Advisors' door (we have a door contest... the 1999 GWA mascot was the Penguin). Well, they were running away and the GWA-elect fell and scraped up her knee BAD! The next day was Installation and she could not kneel down because her knee hurt so bad (she tore ligaments). She had to stand through the whole thing!"

"At a recent initiation, I was sitting next to a Blue Hair (old lady) that needs a new hearing aid... while the candidate was signing the by-laws... when it was all quiet... this old lady thinks she is whispering but hollers in my ear, 'this is the longest d*mn iniatition I have ever been to.' Everyone heard it. I almost died. The WAA about fell out of the West with laughter, she couldn't stop. And to make matters worse, this woman asks me, 'did I miss something, why is everyone laughing?'"

"I was at one of my sister Assembly's Installation, filling in at the last minute for Chaplain and Recorder. I was leaving the altar after setting the bible down, and as I walked away my hoop got caught on the altar cloth, and all the jewels fell on the ground! So I picked them up and set them back on the altar. The M.A. was more embarrassed then I was -- she just kept shaking her head while everyone else (even me) was laughing."

"I, like one of the other entries here, was being initiated and was the active candidate. As I knelt at the altar, I kissed the wrong Bible. I didn't know I did anything wrong until later when my friend started laughing and told me I kissed the wrong one. I have been in Rainbow since 1998 and I still get teased about it, and every time we do initiations Faith always makes sure to whisper, 'Kiss the Bible IN YOUR HAND.'"

"In our Assembly room, all the podiums have marble squares fitted into the wood surface in the bottom right-hand corner. Well, during one Worthy Advisor's term, the usual WA gavel went missing. So during one meeting, she used a can of air freshener for a gavel and the marble square for a sounding block."

"During an OV a few years back, I was chosen to be WA for introductions. When it came time for me to introduce the Supreme Deputy in the East, I said 'You will join with me in giving her Supreme honors.' I then proceded to give the sign of distress and bow. I was so glad our SD had a sense of humor!"

"I am a Mother Advisor. One year our State Master Councilor was a Mason and as such he attended our Grand Visitation. The girls were so awed by having a guy in the audience that they forgot most of their work. We still tease him about his magnetic personality."

"One meeting, when I was W.A., we were opening for just a regular business meeting and the chaplain had mixed up the words in the opening prayer.. she said, 'teach us evil and keep us from reverence'.... we still don't let her live that one down... even when she was GWA!"

"At the last initiation I was at, I got a bit of a chuckle when the Worthy Advisor, during the Altar lecture, said 'ammunition' rather than 'admonition'. Hadn't ever heard that version before."

"My best friend was WAA during an initiation, and I was Faith. The candidate and I approached the WAA. It was the part when she stops the candidate with both hands on her shoulders. She began her speech... only she didn't say prostrate... she said prostate! I tried to hide my giggle. Maybe nobody noticed... She got to the end of the sentence and said, 'I said prostate, didn't I!' It took everyone a minute to regain composure. Hysterical!!! Thank goodness we didn't have many sideliners that night!"

"I was protemming at an Official Visit and I was wearing my red Grand Assembly dress. It doesn't go off the shoulder but the neck line is kind of wide so I would wear a strapless bra with it. (Note: that particular bra is padded.) I also wore my crinoline with the skirt but the crinoline was a bit too long so I hiked it up so it wouldn't show. Every time I stood up, the crinoline would pull the bra down a little bit more. By the end of the Official Visit, it looked like I had two sets of you know whats!"

"At Grand Assembly 2001, I held the station of Grand Nature. When it came time to recite my lecture, I was in 'the zone.' I was the only one who didn't realize that I had said 'The third station is called Love.' Now, whenever I see the Supreme Deputy, she almost always tells the story of how I predicted my next station on the Grand Assembly floor. I am now Grand Love."

"Once, when my sister was being installed for her second term as WA, I was stepping down. I was using her gavel from her former installation. I rapped it the first time and the part that I rapped broke into about three pieces. When she was handed her gavel later on, another in the Assembly room said, 'Well, part of a gavel.' I was mortified."

"During my installation, I wanted 'When You Believe' from 'Prince of Egypt' played while I was being crowned. I kneeled down and there was no song. No one was prepared for the crown talk so I just sat there with a nervous smile in front of family and friends. All someone had to do was go to the CD player in the back of the room and hit a button..."

"When I was Worthy Advisor the Recorder was done reading the communications and I was supposed to say, 'And all others will be place on file.' Instead I said, 'And all others will be place on fire.' Everytime after that my assembly would say 'File' so I would not get mixed up!"

"My first Grand Office was Grand Fidelity. I had to borrow a crinoline from my older sister. She was a few sizes larger than I was, and so the crinoline was too large. During the signing of the book of time, I was fine. It wasn't until I tried to return to the line afterward. There, in front of everyone, my crinoline fell out of my dress. Not just that, but I tripped on it. Not just a little trip either. Arms flapping, legs kicking, the whole she-bang. This made the event even more hilarious."

"My story is from many years ago, when I was Worthy Advisor (1986-87). We had just had our meeting and were walking down the stairs from the Assembly room to the lower level, where we had our paraphnalia stored. My dress was made to be worn with a hoop underneath, but I didn't have one, so it it was quite long. As I walked down the stairs, crown in one hand, gavel in the other, trying not to trip on my dress, I DID! I tumbled down the stairs landing in a heap on the first landing. All the girls who had been behind me rushed to my side. Did they ask if I was ok? NO, They asked, "Is the crown ok?????" I sat there, my ankle swelling up, and they were concerned with the crown... I never let them forget that one."

"One time we were doing a degree for the anniversary of our lodge. One of the girls who was sitting in a bow station, had forgotten her shoes. This was during one of our lovely NY winters and she ended up having to wear her boots -- which happened to be those big furry kind. What a sight!"

"I was visiting out-of-state for the first time, and as a Worthy Advisor, I needed to bring the official greetings of my GWA and SI. Well, the time came for my remarks, and I was ready. I stood up, and I called the GWA by the SI's name and the SI by the GWA's name! Luckily for me, no one knew the difference, but when I figured out my mistake, I was completely embarrassed. I never have told either the GWA or SI, I'm too embarassed I guess!"

"I was in the middle of my installation! During the crowning ceremony, of course I trip in front of everyone! I was so embarrassed! Hint to everyone: Don't get a really long dress, unless you want to trip!"

"At my Installation, my mom was installing me as Worthy Advisor and she was starting to get all choked up. Of course, she snorted in front of the entire Assembly Room -- it was so embarrassing!"

"Sometimes a dictionary would have saved the day... we had one girl who, as Faith, told the candidate about keeping things hidden 'from the propane'. Later, as WAA, she informed us that you cannot be happy UNLESS you hide some sin in your life."

"I was only in Rainbow for one term when this happened. We had all the offices except Drill Leader. So, me being my shy little self just wanted to sit in my cold steel bow station chair. Instead everyone goes "Why doesn't she protem Drill Leader?" So I did. I didn't even know that Drill Leader had to say anything and people at the door had to prompt me. I thought "There is no way it could get worse!" But I was wrong. It came time for me to escort the flag to the east and back. When I came back and set down the flag in the stand and walked away with my back turned to it, I suddenly hear a 'THUD' and a huge gasp from the WHOLE assembly. Evidentally whoever set up the room put out the wrong flag stand. The flag was on the ground and I was sooooooo embarrassed. Now I have actually served as Drill Leader, and every time I set the flag down, I made sure it was going to stay horizontally challenged!"

"During one initiation I had to learn another bow station's part really quickly when the officer did not show for the meeting. I was really nervous about how well I happened to memorize the part but ended up ALMOST making it through the whole speech. I was at the last sentence when I said, "... altar of SACRIFICE". That got everybody confused!"

"Some ritualistic "bloopers" that I recall girls saying:
From Installation:
Charity: "Arms" for the poor (should be "alms")
Chaplain: "Annuals" of human history... (should be "annals")
From initiation:
WAA: "Prostate" themselves... (should be "prostrate")
Patriotism: the sounds of "maritial" strain... ("martial")"

"I was a Job's Daughter, too, but way more active in Rainbow. Once, when filling in as Inner Guard (equivalent of Confidential Observer), the Honored Queen addressed me, I stood up without thinking and replied "Worthy Advisor." I got a few laughs for that one."

"Not really a "blooper" per se, but our Rainbow Assembly did a patriotic tribute at the beginning of a Masonic Installation and our Bethel did the "closing cross" at the end. I did the tribute in a Rainbow formal, then ran out to get my Bethel robe on for the closing cross since I was also an office in Job's, then came back in. Toward the end of the installation, the Master asked "presiding officers of youth organizations" to stand up for introductions. Imagine the confusion of many when I stood up in my Job's Daughter robe to be introduced as Worthy Advisor of my Rainbow assembly."

"I was visiting a local Assembly for their initiation. Sitting on the sidelines, while Faith is talking and walking around the room with the candidate, she was headed straight at me when she quoted this line of scripture: "... And the nations of them which are shaved shall walk in the light of it..." Faith and I were both fighting back the giggles."

"When I was being initiated, and the WA questioned me, I answered the first question properly, and I thought I had it down. All I had to say was "yes". Next question - "yes" - and then Faith whispered "no" in my ear (I was supposed to say "I do") so then I said no. It came out as 'Yes! No... what?!?'"

"For the Grand Officers Rehearsal for Grand Assembly 2002, we were originally going to do a fancy march-in. When doing the St. Andrew's cross in the east, I tripped on the microphone cord. However, I made it look as graceful and ballet-like as possible. At Grand Assembly I made the joke to my friends saying that we should add the graceful trip to the march-in."

"At the Official Visit of our Assembly in 2000, our theme was "How Does Your Garden Grow?" It was also around Easter Time. During our Courtesy we had the Supreme Deputy, Supreme Hope, and the Grand Worthy Advisor participate. We used the bow to give the story of how one's garden should grow. Our Grand Deputy is one of the biggest children alive. Since I was leading the people around for the courtesy, I was told to tell them to do as I do. I was supposed to hop, skip, or anything that made the courtesy hilarious. I will never forget when Supreme Hope had to stop because she said that she was too old for this. It was pretty funny!"

"I was the Installing officer at an open Installation. When I was going down to the altar from the east, my crinoline came undone and started to fall. I simply stepped out of it and gave it to the Installing Marshall and carried on with my ritutal!"

"The night of my Installation... My Mother had worked days and days on sewing me a beautiful white net formal. Right before we were to leave home I put the dress on and zipped the dress up. To my surprise the zipper wouldn't stay zipped. Mother had to sew me into the dress and I said a prayer that it held. It did and I had a beautiful night. One I shall always remember. That was September of 1951."

"During an Initiation ceremony, I, as Charity, was solemly instructing the new menbers with my office's traditional lecture. 35 years later, people still remind me of transferring letters. Instead of "precious treasures" I said "trecious preasures"... then we got the giggles..."

"Last year at Grand Assembly, right before Initation, Grand Faith's hoop skirt broke, and our Supreme Deputy wouldn't let her leave the floor so she could fix it until Intiation was over, so she walked around the whole time holding her dress up!"

"When I was being installed as Worthy Advisor, I had a DeMolay guy (who was very cute) escort me. He didn't know the march that we would be doing, nor was he familiar with escorting a girl with a hoop skirt on under her dress! He ended up stepping on my skirt 3 times and I ended up leading him around the room."

"My district always competes in the ritual competion at Grand Assembly, and something always happens. One year for the tie-breaking questions, I was asked to give grand honors -- I bowed 3 times. The next year we had a girl who was doing a bow part get really nervous, and when she gets nervous, she sways back and forth and it's really obvious! One year I was Faith and the candidate kept stepping on my skirt and made me trip."

"Last year at Grand Assembly, a girl from our district had been elected as Grand Worthy Advisor, and we were getting ready to be seated in the special seating section because she was in our district. And as I was walking up the bleachers, in front of the whole jurisdiction, I slipped and fell flat on my face."

"When the WA stepped down to give the obligation, she went to the candidate and said, "repeat after me." She said "I" and her name, and the candidate repeated her perfectly, right down to the name of the WA!"

"I was at another Assembly's installation and it was time for the crowning ceremony. The newly installed WA was kneeling at the altar, which just happened to be a very large altar. The JPWA was reaching across the altar to crown the WA when... oops... the crown slipped from her hands and continued to roll across the assembly room."

"It was the official visit of the GWA and I was WAA. When I was asked the colors of the Rainbow, I said "Red, orange, yellow, blue, green, indigo, and violet." And of course everyone got a good chuckle out of that one. Needless to say I was very embarrassed. Now every time it comes to that part during opening I always say 'Red, orange, yellow, GREEN, BLUE, indigo, and violet.'"

"At a school of instruction for our area, the Grand Officers were exemplifying the work, while the Director of Grand Officers was explaining the little details, so we'd know things were done right. The "East" was up on a stage. At the end of balloting, the GWA managed to spill some of the contents of the ballot box's drawer. The Supreme Deputy brought up her mic and let us know that she had just informed the GWA that she had lost her marbles. Then the GWA had to walk behind the chairs to recover the last marble or two that had escaped."

"I was the Worthy Advisor for our Assemblies Offical visit. Our theme was back to school. In coming up with my speeches for the introductions, I used some really cute school poems. We had a lot of introductions, so I just started putting poems with titles. When it came time to introduce the heads of our sponsoring bodies it was last introduction of the evening. The heads of our sponsoring bodies shall we say, are not teenagers any more. When I looked down to see what I put and saw that it was about dinosaurs and how they had tiny brains and how the Teacher found that tiny brains are still around. Everyone started laughing, and fortunately they took it really well."

"During initiation when the candidate is reminded "obey thy father and thy mother", our candidate started laughing at this and proceeded to look at her mother."

"The first time I was Hope was really the first time I had sat behind a podium. I was sitting there during opening, getting ready to open the bible when I pushed my feet too far out and my podium and everything in and on it fell over. All of the Masons in the assembly room quickly got up and fixed everything while I was practically crying from embarassment. What a day."

"When I was initiated at Grand Assembly, the GWA gave her lecture and Faith told me to kiss the Bible. (I was in front as you can tell.) So I did, and handed it to the girl in back of me! I was blushing the rest of the Initiation!"

"I was doing the part of installing officer for my assembly. My sister had to work that day, and was not sure if she could make it or not. We were just about done when she showed up, so we put her behind the altar and I started to recite the part for Treasurer. The entire room broke out laughing when I said it was an office that may carry temptation... my sister was still in her uniform from work -- she's a police officer!"

"Our assembly was host to what we call "Grand Officers Night" (that is when they perform initiation). When they were finished, my mom -- who at the time was MA -- asked the GWA to introduce her officers and her response was 'That's okay, I don't know who any of them are.' Mind you this is 2 months before her term ended. My mother then had to ask all the girls to introduce themselves. How awful when they found out that their GWA did not know them."

"We had initiation one evening with the Grand Master visiting our assembly. Whe it was time to go get the candidate for Initiation, our Faith walked to the door and rapped... and rapped again... no answer. She opened the door and the OO was listening to her walkman! and the candidate was found downstairs eating with an advisor. When the Grand Master gave greetings he said if it was him, he'd be eating too."

"A few years back when I was initiated into Rainbow and my sister and I were kneeling at the altar after the WA gave the obligation, and it was time for the initiates to kiss the little bible I by mistake kissed the one that was laying on our altar. The WA said, "No" in a whisper that started a chain reaction of giggles among the girls. From than on when we are doing a practice for initiation and we are at that part of the ceremony, everyone laughs and says as they are looking at me 'Make sure the initiates don't kiss the big bible!'"

"Near-miss at a recent Installation I attended -- the Installing Officer caught herself just in time. She had just handed the gavel to the new WA and was giving the little speech about those who are selected to lead assume a great responsibility, but they, too -- and I quote -- 'must return to the wa-- RANKS.' She continued, but the DeMolay boys seated in front of me were having a hard time containing their chuckles."

"At our meeting last week, during Elections for Faith, our WA had an amusing blooper that had everyone rolling in their seats. After the nominee for Faith was announced, the WA proceeded with the usual statement about not accepting the nomination... "Any girl who does not feel that she can fulfill the duties of the office of Faith may *recline*."
Yes. Recline. Everyone leaned back in their seats, including the nominee, who had been nominated for her 4th time that night, and obviously wanted to go up the line.
And, I have to add, our WA was quite proud of herself, and in true fashion for a girl of our Assembly, lit up in excitement when I mentioned that I'd have to pass this along to Misha for her Bloopers page. Then, she asked for full credit. She wants her name and her blooper up there for posterity."
Sorry, I can't oblige you on this one, I'm afraid! I will say you're from California, and I've met you -- how's that? (wink)

Do you have a blooper, funny moment, or horror story, and you'd like to share it? (I promise not to laugh at you -- several of the above incidents are mine!) Please send it to me using the form below!

email address (mandatory, to send form): What blooper(s) do you have to tell? (details, please!)

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